Writing from the hospital...
November 1st 2009 12:32
:
Sterile but peaceful...
Category: No Category
Yesterday I spread out on comfortable green chair of my Hotel Radisson room and wrote pages and pages in my new notebook... as I turned off the light sometime round midnight I thought 'this is the life'! 
I am forever looking for a peaceful place to work, being that my Sydney home isn't what I would call such.
I am a big fan of moving in and out of spaces. Savouring every inch, every contour, every angle, every shade of the environment I find myself in... and then moving on to the next... it's no surprise that my dream of Robyn included such fascinating new spaces, colours and motifs. I am undergoing dramatic changes in my living environment, and reinventing what it means to exist from one day to the next. I note the way I am changing in relation to finding myself in new environments all the time. I don't want to be overloaded, but I also don't want to be under-stimulated either. Balance, peace and moderation are they key words, and which continent is better suited to getting in touch with my inner serenity?
If people are angry or disturbed here, they hide it well. I see smiles, mischievous expressions and a smooth countenance everywhere I look. This sometimes irked me, from time to time, in the past, but on this trip to Thailand I am just so grateful to be exploring new territory that I am awake to all the positive implications of 'face' and don't dedicate too much attention to the negatives.
SO why am I in the hospital? It happens to contain the closest internet point that is affordable. There's no-one here anyway on this Sunday night.
I think that sadism and masochism both spring from a fear of fully examining the other/self. If you are to confront your fears about sexuality and worthiness, social and private sense of control, and be willing to share your insecurities with another person who cares, you don't need to switch off any of your sensitivity. You become fully accepting of yourself and another, curious about how you can both grow, change and be transformed by the others' presence.
I also think that words that are derogatory to women such as whore should not be used by intellectuals, because (apart from the fact that they indulge in a culture of hysteria over womens' and mens' sexuality) they hurt the most impressionable, uneducated and run down members of our society. It's very sad to see when a woman (or man) feels somewhat validated through such labels, simply because they are being noticed and sexually desired in a way that is partially fulfilling to them.
I mean, if a man on the street yells something foul at me, passing by, I know that he has a problem, and his externalisation of his fears has nothing to do with me. Unfortunately, being that our society still has a long way to go before misogyny has next to no bearing on our interpersonal relations, not all the bystanders are going to interpret the event that way. Someone, somewhere, on that hypothetical busy street is going to think 'she deserved it'.
Don't worry, nothing like that has happened to me recently, and certainly not in Thailand. The men here have been almost invariably sweet and charming. From my limited knowledge of Buddhism and Thai society, it seems neither has resulted in a deeply rooted and significant hatred or fear of women today. I am aware that gender inequality is a problem everywhere, but I can't help but notice how the Thai men seem to be blissfully uninfatuated with machismo.
Actually, now that I think about it, it would be nice if there was some sort of female equivalent, or incarnation, of Buddha... but then all the world's religions are phallocentric. Religion is on my mind because I learnt today that the Thai flag is composed of three colours, white, red and blue, representing the nation, religion and the king (monarchy) (not in that order). I also learnt that every man is supposed to become a monk at age 20, something which helps ensure a great afterlife for his parents! I find it incredible that religion is so deeply embedded in Thai culture as that.
I am forever looking for a peaceful place to work, being that my Sydney home isn't what I would call such. I am a big fan of moving in and out of spaces. Savouring every inch, every contour, every angle, every shade of the environment I find myself in... and then moving on to the next... it's no surprise that my dream of Robyn included such fascinating new spaces, colours and motifs. I am undergoing dramatic changes in my living environment, and reinventing what it means to exist from one day to the next. I note the way I am changing in relation to finding myself in new environments all the time. I don't want to be overloaded, but I also don't want to be under-stimulated either. Balance, peace and moderation are they key words, and which continent is better suited to getting in touch with my inner serenity?
If people are angry or disturbed here, they hide it well. I see smiles, mischievous expressions and a smooth countenance everywhere I look. This sometimes irked me, from time to time, in the past, but on this trip to Thailand I am just so grateful to be exploring new territory that I am awake to all the positive implications of 'face' and don't dedicate too much attention to the negatives.
SO why am I in the hospital? It happens to contain the closest internet point that is affordable. There's no-one here anyway on this Sunday night.
I think that sadism and masochism both spring from a fear of fully examining the other/self. If you are to confront your fears about sexuality and worthiness, social and private sense of control, and be willing to share your insecurities with another person who cares, you don't need to switch off any of your sensitivity. You become fully accepting of yourself and another, curious about how you can both grow, change and be transformed by the others' presence.
I also think that words that are derogatory to women such as whore should not be used by intellectuals, because (apart from the fact that they indulge in a culture of hysteria over womens' and mens' sexuality) they hurt the most impressionable, uneducated and run down members of our society. It's very sad to see when a woman (or man) feels somewhat validated through such labels, simply because they are being noticed and sexually desired in a way that is partially fulfilling to them.
I mean, if a man on the street yells something foul at me, passing by, I know that he has a problem, and his externalisation of his fears has nothing to do with me. Unfortunately, being that our society still has a long way to go before misogyny has next to no bearing on our interpersonal relations, not all the bystanders are going to interpret the event that way. Someone, somewhere, on that hypothetical busy street is going to think 'she deserved it'.
Don't worry, nothing like that has happened to me recently, and certainly not in Thailand. The men here have been almost invariably sweet and charming. From my limited knowledge of Buddhism and Thai society, it seems neither has resulted in a deeply rooted and significant hatred or fear of women today. I am aware that gender inequality is a problem everywhere, but I can't help but notice how the Thai men seem to be blissfully uninfatuated with machismo.
Actually, now that I think about it, it would be nice if there was some sort of female equivalent, or incarnation, of Buddha... but then all the world's religions are phallocentric. Religion is on my mind because I learnt today that the Thai flag is composed of three colours, white, red and blue, representing the nation, religion and the king (monarchy) (not in that order). I also learnt that every man is supposed to become a monk at age 20, something which helps ensure a great afterlife for his parents! I find it incredible that religion is so deeply embedded in Thai culture as that.
| 28 |
| Vote |
