2:36am 4th August 2008
August 3rd 2008 17:05
Category: No Category
Isn't it a wonderful day to be alive?
I've never been better equipped to fall in love with the world.
Sometimes I ask myself if I am fulfilling my complaint quota - everyone seems to have some kind of negative remark to throw out into the cosmos, and at times I've wondered if encouraging a sense of disgruntlement within myself might pay off somewhere, somehow.
I'm at a crossroads, like I've always been - how do I deal with the world around me? How deeply do I engage with the parts I like, knowing that the highs will inevitably lead to lows? Is this middle ground worthwhile in any way?
I make my perception purposely patchy; I look for clusters of discordant impulses; I seek for the world to be partially revealed; I can't always remember what I'm protecting myself from; Will it be fruitful to embrace a longer stream of consciousness?
Nobody knows how I play with my mind; Do I? How do I navigate the surfaces around me? How do I slither towards a sense of proportion, while I'm still entertaining the possibility that a frayed mental state might be desirable? How do I focus on images of renewal, movement, transience, when I'm not sure I can refrain from getting derailed next time... but derailed from what? What could possibly be worse than this fear of stasis? How can I fear the feedback I will receive when I haven't even tested the resistance about for a while? I know that people didn't organise interpretative dance sessions at the time I was in the art gallery or museum; I know that my Indian restaurant owner won't know what to make of 'postmodernism' should I bring up the subject; I know that 34 years of living in the same (developing) country leads to concepts of change and difference that won't inspire me beyond a certain extent; I know that my frustration isn't often shared; I know that I just shed some tears, and for that I am thankful; I guess I'll keep looking...
Anything is possible.
The time is now.
Expect the unexpected.
I've never been better equipped to fall in love with the world.
Sometimes I ask myself if I am fulfilling my complaint quota - everyone seems to have some kind of negative remark to throw out into the cosmos, and at times I've wondered if encouraging a sense of disgruntlement within myself might pay off somewhere, somehow.
I'm at a crossroads, like I've always been - how do I deal with the world around me? How deeply do I engage with the parts I like, knowing that the highs will inevitably lead to lows? Is this middle ground worthwhile in any way?
I make my perception purposely patchy; I look for clusters of discordant impulses; I seek for the world to be partially revealed; I can't always remember what I'm protecting myself from; Will it be fruitful to embrace a longer stream of consciousness?
Nobody knows how I play with my mind; Do I? How do I navigate the surfaces around me? How do I slither towards a sense of proportion, while I'm still entertaining the possibility that a frayed mental state might be desirable? How do I focus on images of renewal, movement, transience, when I'm not sure I can refrain from getting derailed next time... but derailed from what? What could possibly be worse than this fear of stasis? How can I fear the feedback I will receive when I haven't even tested the resistance about for a while? I know that people didn't organise interpretative dance sessions at the time I was in the art gallery or museum; I know that my Indian restaurant owner won't know what to make of 'postmodernism' should I bring up the subject; I know that 34 years of living in the same (developing) country leads to concepts of change and difference that won't inspire me beyond a certain extent; I know that my frustration isn't often shared; I know that I just shed some tears, and for that I am thankful; I guess I'll keep looking...
Anything is possible.
The time is now.
Expect the unexpected.
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Unconsciously and effortlessly it seems, you always cause the reader to ponder further, and reflect upon their own world.
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Thank you, that really means a lot to me... *sniff*