A Multitude of Beginnings OR Speech Therapy for Gays and Lesbians in England
April 5th 2008 06:24
a) I once was so convinced that I had a speech impediment that I went to see a professional speech therapist. I was puzzled, and a bit embarassed, to find myself able to pronounce every sound on her list with perfection. It seemed to me then that while I had a wide range of sounds at my disposal I wasn't using them in a way that seemed effective to me. It was all in my mind, as I searched for the most fluent way of speaking English, feeding myself with doubts as to the eloquence, wholesomeness and tenacity of my forays into the language... I'm very interested in how people use language, what combination of accents they use, and how this changes as they go throughout their day. No two utterances are ever the same...
b) You may have heard the statistic that 1 in 10 men are gay. (I think it's 1 in 20 women.) I read this when I was fascinated by matters of sexuality in high school, which was about 8 or so years ago. What interests me is that people are still citing this 'fact' but it is my belief that if a study was done today the percentages of people who identify as gay or same-sex attracted would have significantly increased. I don't think the number of people who are attracted to the same sex has increased, but, rather, the tolerance towards this kind of attraction, which leads to more people feeling comfortable with admitting that they are gay or bisexual, or even bi-curious. Let's not forget that the more discourse there is on a topic like homosexuality, the more response there is from the community, and the more prejudices are being broken down and minds are being opened. I'm sure that with Western culture's increasing acceptance and celebration of identites non-heterosexual, the number of people who can consciously admit to themselves that they are attracted to members of the same sex is on the increase...
c) Have I been courting England all my life? It seems like I have been everywhere except the place, and I have heard and read so much about it from its publishing, film and music industries and first hand accounts. I oscillate between finding it a seat of intellectual exploration and a hiding-place for the snobby and pretentious, a hot-spot for quirky, eccentric and postmodern thought and the strong-hold of conservativism and backwardness, a picturesque, lush retreat and a grimy, rain-sodden patchwork of greys. I am finally going to visit the place for 3 days in June, and am expecting to be surprised. I'll mostly be in London, but with the opportunity to see some of its surrounding attractions, like Brighton, Windsor, Oxford, Bath, Stonehenge or Stratfrod-upon-Avon. I wonder what it will hold?
b) You may have heard the statistic that 1 in 10 men are gay. (I think it's 1 in 20 women.) I read this when I was fascinated by matters of sexuality in high school, which was about 8 or so years ago. What interests me is that people are still citing this 'fact' but it is my belief that if a study was done today the percentages of people who identify as gay or same-sex attracted would have significantly increased. I don't think the number of people who are attracted to the same sex has increased, but, rather, the tolerance towards this kind of attraction, which leads to more people feeling comfortable with admitting that they are gay or bisexual, or even bi-curious. Let's not forget that the more discourse there is on a topic like homosexuality, the more response there is from the community, and the more prejudices are being broken down and minds are being opened. I'm sure that with Western culture's increasing acceptance and celebration of identites non-heterosexual, the number of people who can consciously admit to themselves that they are attracted to members of the same sex is on the increase...
c) Have I been courting England all my life? It seems like I have been everywhere except the place, and I have heard and read so much about it from its publishing, film and music industries and first hand accounts. I oscillate between finding it a seat of intellectual exploration and a hiding-place for the snobby and pretentious, a hot-spot for quirky, eccentric and postmodern thought and the strong-hold of conservativism and backwardness, a picturesque, lush retreat and a grimy, rain-sodden patchwork of greys. I am finally going to visit the place for 3 days in June, and am expecting to be surprised. I'll mostly be in London, but with the opportunity to see some of its surrounding attractions, like Brighton, Windsor, Oxford, Bath, Stonehenge or Stratfrod-upon-Avon. I wonder what it will hold?
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Comment by Michaelie
Flick Wit
b) Really so high? What would be your estimate? I agree there would be a marked increase of homosexual expression as our society changes but I think the first estimate is generous for the time.
c) How exciting! Am desperate for a holiday but work is just too nuts at the moment! Ah well, just means I can save for a longer trip in the meantime! Would love to visit Bath.
Michaelie
Comment by Morgan Bell
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i am often told i have a american accent even though i have never ventured outside of australia, i think its a mish-mash aussie accent from moving around so much as a kid, ive blended the regional twangs of different towns in nsw, wa and vic, with a splash of flamboyance from oxford street!
Comment by Mountain Fog
Infognito
ok, that greeting was a bit 'OTT', but so many of my favourite members of the fringe community are...including me too at times.
I think the percentage of gays is higher than what people think, if you include bi-sexuals, "straight" identifying guys who have 'gay' sex every now and then, etc..
I would like to know, for instance, how many people are surveyed, where this is done etc, because as the old saying goes, 'there's statistics, statistics and damned lies'.
However, just to be provocative, I think I agree with Morgan Bell personage, 95% of ALL MEN are GAY! tee hee!!
cheers and have fun in London, you lucky deviless!
Say HIEEEE to Buck Palace for me!!
fog
Comment by postmoderncritic
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Re: a)
The problem was that I had isolated myself from everyone I knew for 3/4 of a year, and was speaking only to a guy whose speech was very indistinct. After a while I lost perspective and perceived myself to have taken on some of the qualities of his spoken English, which wasn't the case. I'm actually known for my aesthetically pleasing sounds and melodic voice, so it was totally a case of me fabricating symptoms of speech impediments. I'm so glad I got myself out of that state when I did! It was hella lonely...
Is that one of the reasons you have a picture of a mouth as your icon (is it yours, btw)?
Re: b)
I wouldn't want to commit myself to a number (there's a reason I liked the statistics part of my Psych 1001 course the least), but I think everyone is bipotential. A lot of people aren't open to being comfortable being attracted to the same sex, and this attitude is particularly reinforced in countries such as Morocco, Cuba, Iran and Bulgaria, where homosexuality is either illegal or almost invisible.
I believe that most people in the world are encouraged to be heterosexual, and so all the complexities of their gender relations are conduced to the opposite sex being potential partners and the same sex being potential friends. It's quite disturbing, and I just watched a movie (Eastern Promises) where a Russian man had no inkling about why he feels the need to constantly get close to his friend and colleague, adopting a blatantly homophobic attitude, and wondered how often this must happen in societies where there is little to no awareness of homosexuality.
If it were the other way around, if homosexuality was encouraged (say, sometime in the future, because of overpopulation), then people would continuously strive to fit the 'homosexual mould' (whatever that is, lol) and marginalise any form of the undesirable heterosexuality in their lives.
So I think our societies are still highly repressed when it comes to enjoying their sexuality, hence the 1 in 10 statistic not being representative of the frequency with which homosexual sentiment goes on.
Re: c)
May I ask what you do? I'm still currently unemployed.
Bath is high on my list, as I keep hearing that it's one of England's most beautiful cities. I also really want to go to Stratford-upon-Avon and see Shakespeare's house. Then there's Brighton, the small beach town with a lively gay community. I've never known a small town with a high gay community before, so I'm intrigued...
Where would you like to go when you next have some time off? I like that you're focusing on the positives - it's contagious, so thank you!
Comment by postmoderncritic
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Lol, it sometimes seems like all of my friends are non-hetero as well...
An acquaintance named Riley suggested that it's '1 in 4' now. My friend Andrew thought that was too high a figure. I personally don't care, but the '1 in 10' gave me some indication of what to expect, and I'm always eager to update my perspective so I think it's time to do more research on this topic!
I would describe my accent as international with an American twist. Wherever I go, people ask me where my accent is from... it can be quite eclectic, happily! I speak my own unique accent - the Epiphanie accent!
Dear Fog,
I tried to find out more about this statistic, but the internet was unyielding... if anyone has any information on it, could they please let me know?
I agree that statistics are whatever you want to make them.
I like that provocative statistic, lol. I think the only reason why somebody wouldn't be attracted to the same sex would be if they had a traumatic experience with someone, and associated romantic relations with that gender with unhappiness. Which would still be homophobic, the socially constructed reason.
I don't like labels, but 'pansexual' is the one I choose when asked - I am attracted to men, women, the sky, the stars, trees and kittens. I can associate anything with erotic stimulation.
I hope my time in London is enlightening, though I am no deviless...
Thanks for stopping by and commenting, all three of you! Hope you're having a great day...
Comment by Morgan Bell
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using the kinsey scale where 0 is exclusively hetero, 3 is bi, and 6 is exclusively homo kinsey researched and ranked human sexual behaviour
10% of American males surveyed were "more or less exclusively homosexual for at least three years between the ages of 16 and 55" (in the 5 to 6 range)
46% of the male subjects had "reacted" sexually to persons of both sexes in the course of their adult lives, and 37% had at least one homosexual experience.
11.6% of white males (ages 20-35) were given a rating of 3 (about equal heterosexual and homosexual experience/response) throughout their adult lives
Comment by postmoderncritic
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Comment by Mountain Fog
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Of course, being 800 years old I know of his report all too well, however, I wonder if such statistics translate across cultures, like Afro American, Hispanic, Asian?
Now that would be interesting to know...sigh...LOVE those Hispanics...AAARRRRRRUFFF!!!!
And Asian...WOOF!!
Some African....AWHOOO HAAA!!!
cheers
fog
Comment by Michaelie
Flick Wit
OK, I see how that can happen!
Yes, me and my big mouth! I am very interested in language as a whole, but the pic of myself laughing is more to symbolise the lightheartedness of my blog, and desire not to take anything too seriously.
The stats: I have no doubts the reality is much higher, but as to openly identifying with 'gay' as a label... still a long way to go, I reckon. Also it isn't very evenly spread I suppose, and very hard to define and categorise, which is, sometimes unfortunately, our natural inclination I think!
I am supposed to be having a bit of a break at the moment... ~rolls eyes~. Doing some editing freelance, and have gone back to retail management for maybe a year... somehow between the two have ended up more stressed than before and doing 65 hours a week! BUT when I get the time, would love to head over to Europe. Bath - Jane Austen won't let me forget to go there!
Comment by postmoderncritic
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That's a good question... I think it should be a case of the same story in every race, but a lot of non-Caucasians live in developing countries and/or countries that are very conservative, where conditions for celebrating non-heterosexuality are made more difficult than they are in the West, so if you did a survey the number of people who admit to having homosexual affinities would probably be lower.
I say we need more research in this area!
Hi Michaelie,
I'm not interested on definitions and categories unless they're being deconstructed... but I'd welcome more research on this area, even if it did focus on those things, because there's still so much we don't know about human behaviour.
What do you guys think of the Kinsey scale? To what extent do you think it's helpful, and why?
How did you get into freelance editing? I would love to do that! I'm currently trying to do one film review a week so that I quality for the Online Film Critics' Society... I need to keep up that output for a year before I can apply, and I probably won't get any kind of financial reward for it, but it's something I'd like to do. If I'm part of the society I can apply to be included in the Tomatometer on rottentomatoes.com, which would be fabulous.
I've read a few books by Jane Austen and enjoy her style (in moderation, of course)... do you have a favourite book?
It's fabulous that you still find time for Orble on your schedule - keep up the great work!
Comment by Michaelie
Flick Wit
But it's not always productive, I know. Hard to garner any types of 'stats' and so forth though without them, and they are so pervasive, it's difficult not to defer to them on a daily basis.
Work: I always said I didn't want to go into that area, but then you know someone who needs someone, and you need money... and you end up doing it. I would rather be doing something more creative, which I will go back to after my 'break' I suppose. That's a great little goal you have with the film reviews. I never end up having enough time to do many proper reviews!
I like Jane Austen's light, funny, social satire best. I think Northanger Abbey is my favourite. I feel like it's the female novelist version of The Importance of Being Earnest - give or take a few minor differences!
Comment by postmoderncritic
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I think that the more happy you are with yourself, the less you rely on labels to give you a sense of identity. In the case of butch/femme, I can see how women who are predominantly exposed to heteronormative views would find comfort in identifying with these labels, as an alternative to what they have previously known, but once you're used to thinking outside the box you need neither label to make you happy. The best alternative is to just be yourself - labels and categories can inform your sense of identities, but they don't define you. Human beings get more complex every day, as they troup on experience and insights into themselves.
What is a 'butch'? What is a 'lesbian'? What is a 'woman'? Why is it so valuable to 'belong' to one of these pre-established groups? What is the benefit of adhering to static identity groups? I see them more as an obstacle than an aid... we are who we are, and nobody fits neatly into any one label. That's the charm and appeal for human beings, for me. Even though people try so hard to 'fit in' to certain groups, these groups only exist in their minds. Nobody fits in anywhere - as Sartre puts it, we are condemned to be free. (I think we are blessed to be free, and that he felt 'condemened' due to depression.)
Clear cut identity groups are a consensual hallucination, created by insecure people who find it difficult to open themselves up to everything the world and themselves have to offer, and celebrate every hidden corner of their souls. They seek comfort in narrowing down how they can act and feel, limiting themselves to certain practices so as to be 'authentic'. The problem is that people look for an absolute sense of identity, when we are all fluid human beings who change every second of every day. How can you possibly pin someone down into one position? I think one of the best lessons I've learnt is to be open to the most dramatic ways of reniventing myself. I pay attention to labels because I'm interested in the thought that goes into them, but I seek to subvert, play with and reinvent them. And why not embrace my sense of perpetual change? What do I have to lose by embracing the unknown?
I think I'll have to put N.A. on my reading list, as 'Earnest' is one of my favourite plays!