12:43pm Tuesday January 15
January 14th 2008 14:07
Category: No Category
I just saw Atonement, which I thought very atmospheric. The cast did a wonderful job overall and it made me think about the guilt I carry with me over various events - I feel like it has touched on themes pertinent to my life, and I feel like I'm letting go of the past a little and allowing myself to move on.
The movie was so well-made technically that I wasn't bothered by any of the techniques, though I am appalled that anyone would consider an erotic admission which prominently fashions the word 'c---' an element of an epic love story. Ian McEwan and Joe Wright, and James McAvoy, in taking on the role, have all assented to the employment of this vulgarity as a key plot-point and I am very disappointed. It prevented me from getting into the lovers' romance. Nevertheless, young Briony's interpretation of the events was enthralling, and as the movie went on I enjoyed the change in perspectives, and at the end I enjoyed the out-of-sequence narrative.
I just realised that today is Tuesday, and I can choose whether to go to the support group or not. I have a feeling I am still too sore, or sour, from what happened last week... thinking about it makes me feel slightly sick. I wish we could meet on another room, but there is no other space that would do and so we're stuck with that grey-lilac carpet and the heavy blue walls, with dim lighting to boot.
Mum is in Canberra for the working week, and I am appreciating not having to associate my week with the patterns of work. I am at supposed to be having the time of my life, being a student and soaking up knowledge. It all feels incredibly artificial, and sometimes I feel like I am simply masquerading under my student identity, but I'll take the freedom it grants me. I've learnt to make sacrifices.
One thing I am also learning is that I don't need to compromise on my writing... much. I can write the way I want and have it consumed by the public because people long for something new, something avant-garde, something fresh and ground-breaking. A substantial audience exists for me to write to; I just need to have confidence in my ability to navigate my surroundings.
I feel like I've travelled far and wide, and placed myself in some tricky situations as a result, a few I may be still recovering from... Yet if I hadn't tried to relocate to Poland and China I would still be trying to move to third world countries, not realising that they don't have the infrastructure to meet my needs the way the developed world can.
When I told my dad that mum was thinking of moving to Europe for one or two years when she finishes her PhD, his first reaction was that it would be without him. I think it would be sad to leave him here on his own, so I'm not sure how it's going to work. Perhaps I can spend half the time here and half the time there.
Update:
This review of Atonement struck me as insightful:
"(T)his book, McEwan's grandest and most ambitious yet, is much more than the story of a single act of atonement. It isn't, in fact, until you get to the surprising coda of this ravishingly written book that you begin to see the beauty of McEwan's design -- and the meaning of his title. (T)rust me, Atonement's postmodern surprise ending is the perfect close to a book that explores, with beauty and rigor, the power of art and the limits of forgiveness. Briony Tallis may need to atone, but Ian McEwan has nothing to apologize for." - Daniel Mendelsohn, New York.
The movie was so well-made technically that I wasn't bothered by any of the techniques, though I am appalled that anyone would consider an erotic admission which prominently fashions the word 'c---' an element of an epic love story. Ian McEwan and Joe Wright, and James McAvoy, in taking on the role, have all assented to the employment of this vulgarity as a key plot-point and I am very disappointed. It prevented me from getting into the lovers' romance. Nevertheless, young Briony's interpretation of the events was enthralling, and as the movie went on I enjoyed the change in perspectives, and at the end I enjoyed the out-of-sequence narrative.
I just realised that today is Tuesday, and I can choose whether to go to the support group or not. I have a feeling I am still too sore, or sour, from what happened last week... thinking about it makes me feel slightly sick. I wish we could meet on another room, but there is no other space that would do and so we're stuck with that grey-lilac carpet and the heavy blue walls, with dim lighting to boot.
Mum is in Canberra for the working week, and I am appreciating not having to associate my week with the patterns of work. I am at supposed to be having the time of my life, being a student and soaking up knowledge. It all feels incredibly artificial, and sometimes I feel like I am simply masquerading under my student identity, but I'll take the freedom it grants me. I've learnt to make sacrifices.
One thing I am also learning is that I don't need to compromise on my writing... much. I can write the way I want and have it consumed by the public because people long for something new, something avant-garde, something fresh and ground-breaking. A substantial audience exists for me to write to; I just need to have confidence in my ability to navigate my surroundings.
I feel like I've travelled far and wide, and placed myself in some tricky situations as a result, a few I may be still recovering from... Yet if I hadn't tried to relocate to Poland and China I would still be trying to move to third world countries, not realising that they don't have the infrastructure to meet my needs the way the developed world can.
When I told my dad that mum was thinking of moving to Europe for one or two years when she finishes her PhD, his first reaction was that it would be without him. I think it would be sad to leave him here on his own, so I'm not sure how it's going to work. Perhaps I can spend half the time here and half the time there.
Update:
This review of Atonement struck me as insightful:
"(T)his book, McEwan's grandest and most ambitious yet, is much more than the story of a single act of atonement. It isn't, in fact, until you get to the surprising coda of this ravishingly written book that you begin to see the beauty of McEwan's design -- and the meaning of his title. (T)rust me, Atonement's postmodern surprise ending is the perfect close to a book that explores, with beauty and rigor, the power of art and the limits of forgiveness. Briony Tallis may need to atone, but Ian McEwan has nothing to apologize for." - Daniel Mendelsohn, New York.
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Comment by Ash
Australian Traveller
Flashes of memories
I enjoyed Atonement too - it was something different wasn`t it? away from the normal garbage that makes itway onto our screens.
I hope your support group is better this week and you manage to work through whatever is bothering you. Guilt is a heavy burden for anyone to carry.
Much peace and happiness to you for the week ahead.
Ash
Comment by postmoderncritic
Postmodern Critic
Daily Inspirations
Relativity Watch
Padsoc
I was thinking of seeing Atonement a second time, to appreciate the cinematography and intricate storyline. I found it a breath of fresh air. The title alone signalled that this would be different from the usual studio output, but I wasn't expecting to get such an interesting story.
I'm actually not feeling all that guilty - I tapped into the side of me that is, which surfaces when I'm not feeling at my best, and offered it some therapy by dealing with my personal feelings of guilt directly. I saw the main character as an extreme exaggeration of what guilt could do to me if I let it, and so I found myself letting go of patterns of indulging in my guilt, when I have!
I wish the support group is somewhere I could voice my concerns and get constructive feedback, but whenever I speak my mind there is an all-pervasive silence in the room, followed by the questions of people hard-pressed to understand where I am coming from. When I go there it is to help other people, who aren't necessarily helped by the supervisors.
I hope your week ahead brings you many delights, with pleasures both sensual and abstract.
I'm really looking forward to hearing all about your NZ experience when you come back!