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Postmodern Critic - April 2008

Looking for Film Parodies?

April 30th 2008 16:26
I just found a new film parody site, The Editing Room, which claims to 'abridge' popular films. Here's a sample of what they've done with Juno:

RAINN WILSON

I can barely understand you. Is there a reason you’re talking like what seems like a teenager designed by a committee of adults that have researched youth by watching MTV around the clock?


and

ELLEN goes to the CLINIC and signs in. Another INDIE SONG blares over the scene to make sure you remember that you are supporting INDEPENDENT CINEMA by watching this movie.


not to mention

ELLEN finds a couple to adopt her kid: JASON BATEMAN and JENNIFER GARNER. ELLEN goes to meet them.

JENNIFER GARNER

We’re so happy you’d consider us despite the fact that I starred in Elektra.


While I am very grateful for the abundance of quality parody here, I must disagree with the author, who considers some movies as beyond reproach due to a lack of flaws. Every movie has gaps and silences, and no text is perfect, as far as I'm concerned.

There are also a collection of Lord of the Rings parodies here.

Some highlights from this Return of the King parody:

LEGOLAS: The sky wears a film of gauze. The night air breathes infamy. Deceit weaves itself around my fingernails.

ARAGORN: What the hell is that? Poetry? I pay you to do two things: shoot stuff, and look pretty.

and

Black Ships sail up, with ARAGORN, LEGOLAS, GIMLI, and DEAD PEOPLE aboard, and save the day.


AUDIENCE: Oh, come on. Orlando Bloom as the token pretty-boy on a ship full of ghosts - yeah, we saw that over the summer. Next!


with

FRODO: I can't bear it. Life is horrid. My heart is shriveled and my soul is dead. The blackness of despair shrouds my eyes. I choke on pain and anguish.

SAM: That's it - no more listening to The Cure for you.


and

LEGOLAS steps out, wearing bridal white and a coy smile. He and ARAGORN gaze into one another's eyes.

LEGOLAS: Are you ready to kiss your bride, my lord?

ARAGORN: Heck yeah. Come here, you.

LEGOLAS steps aside and lets ARWEN in.

ARAGORN: Oh! Arwen! Right. Wow, hi. Heh. Uh - come here, you.


Enjoy!



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8 Random Facts About Me

April 27th 2008 16:22
a) My birth certificate states I was born in Sofia, Bulgaria, but I was actually born in Tripoli, Libya. Apparently the Libyan government didn't want to be bothered with the paperwork.

b) I got my first kiss from a guy on the day of the Mardi Gras Parade, which I had been in the previous year. It was from that point on that I consciously decided to leave labels behind and just enjoy my sexuality.

c) I have lost 4 kgs in the last 4 weeks, since joining Weight Watchers. I hope to lose more.

d) I once represented myself as mentally ill to obtain access to the live-in facilities of the Kiloh Psychiatric Ward, where I stayed for several months as I was fed up with living with my parents. I realised that it wasn't nearly as glamorous as it seemed it ought to be, especially since the medication they gave me made me sedated and sleepy most of the time. I am still on psychotropic medication (it doesn't sedate me anymore, though) because my parents won't fund my overseas trips if I stop taking it, and I am travel addict.

e) I have been to over 100 cities in 20 countries over 4 continents. I have been to Siem Reap, Cambodia, Samokov, Bulgaria and Bellingen, Australia, but not New York City, USA.

f) I like having multi-coloured streaks in my hair, but it's too much effort to keep dyeing them so I usually just leave them blonde.

g) I was voted 'Most Likely to Become a Rock Star' at my Year 10 school formal. Since I had never officially performed for anybody at school, I attribute this to singing incessantly in maths class, and all over the grounds during recess and lunch.

h) The longest time I have ever kept a job for is two weeks.

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I'm Too Funky For This Dancefloor!

April 26th 2008 19:28
I don't want to listen to a song without a beat change, genre hop, melodic relocation
It doesn't matter whether it's alternative or the next poppy sensation
I don't want to hear JT rhyming 'girl' with 'world' once more
He may be musically gifted, but in vocabulary poor
I don't want to hear Eminem making fun of him by insinuating he's gay
Misogyny and homophobia? Reject these things today!
I like to dance to hip hop but the lyrics make me cringe
Why is it that on materialism and ghetto cred they hinge?
Call me elitist but I'm not cool with slang
I'm looking for some proper sentence structure in which my words to hang
Expletives leave me cold, there are better ways to make a point
Mobilise an audience, shake up your soul
And please, no repetition - I want things constantly changing
Shifting, permutating, rearranging
I need positive, uplifting lyrics
And dis-orienting, re-orienting beats to match
All the songs that fly by make me conceptualise of an itch that isn't being scratched
And as I become more and more convinced in what I'm searching for
I realise I'm too funky for this dancefloor!
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I wouldn't call myself a party animal, but I happen to have been to most of the venues on Oxford St and figure I might as well share my knowledge with you.

Obviously, the best time to be at Oxford Street is on the day of the Mardi Gras Parade, late February or early March. You won't want to spend your time in any of the below establishments as the most interesting events will be happening on the street itself, though


[ Click here to read more ]
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Is 2Evolve in the cards?

April 24th 2008 14:27
Last Sunday I applied for a job to a company called 2Evolve which represents charities such as Greenpeace and Amnesty International. The position was for a telephone fundraiser person, and entailed making calls to pre-existing clients and asking them to increase their investment in their charity of choice. They're based in the CBD of Sydney and the shifts are 3pm-8pm for four days in the Mon-Fri period.

I'm a little reluctant to get stuck into the workforce again after what happened last time, but I suppose there can't be any harm in giving this a try. I suspect that the job will suit me - I am a natural at talking over the phone, can be very persuasive, and I don't mind promoting charities one bit - in fact, it sounds like a job where optimism is rewarded and idealism is part of the requirements. So there's nothing for it but to ring Monique back tomorrow during work hours and hopefully meet these people up


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According to Henry E. Adams, Lester W. Wright, Jr and Bethany A. Lohr of the University of Georgia, Athens, "The results of this study indicate that individuals who score in the homophobic range and admit negative effect toward homosexuality demonstrate significant sexual arousal to male homosexual erotic stimuli."

Find the PDF file of the paper here
[ Click here to read more ]
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Lust, Caution Film Review

April 8th 2008 13:04
History fans will love the painstaking attention to detail evident in the simulation of 1938 and 1942 China. Rodrigo Prieto's lighting perfectly illuminates the wallpaper, dresses and dark wooden wardrobes of the period, creating an enticing set which adds much character to the story. I have never seen a film set in Japanese-occupied China, although I have read a bit about the period (and am alerted to the animosity many modern Chinese experience against their more economically developed neighbours), so the joys of discovering the unique look of the film were significant. Given the materialism that prevails in China, it's refreshing to see the lives of the artistically oriented explored, and here our heroes are theatre students, a sub-section which is marginalised as China's dramatic tradition is much more subtle than that of other Western nations.

Tang Wei as Wong Chia Chi

[ Click here to read more ]
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A Word or Two on Endings

April 6th 2008 02:47
a) Has anyone seen Michael Clayton? At the end, Michael comes out of a building and climbs into a cab, telling the driver to 'just drive'... he has just emerged from an intense dramatic showdown which required him to assume a different mentality to his own for a while. His triumph is bittersweet, and from the moment he gets into the car we focus on his face in one long, un-cut reaction shot, while the credits start to stream up the page. I found that this technique was very effective, as the credits provide the average viewer an excuse to turn off. Depending on the time you need to process Michael's complex reaction, you can either stay until the image goes black, or leave/switch off before that. Every second you stay watching his face adds more to the movie, another phase of his reaction. How long can it continue? How long should it continue? It's all up the viewer, and what could be seen as a premature roll of credits grants him or her the freedom to disengage whenever feels right for them.

b) I'm still thinking about Eastern Promises... as interesting as the character studies in the film are, I wasn't satisfied with the ending. It felt too abrupt, like some vital elements of the plot were being denied to me. This isn't usually the case in my cinematic escapades - usually the characters sit with me for too long, and I get tired of them, but here things were becoming increasingly complex and layered. I love open-ended texts. Arguably every text is open-ended, whether it's deliberately drawing on this mode of enquiry or not. But here the open-endedness crept in too soon. I would have liked to see Semyon arrested, and the interaction between him and his son explored. Kirill has a strong dependency on his dad, and is very volatile, so how will he cope as the leader of the London branch? How much power will he transfer to Nikolai initially, and how much power will Nikolai gradually assume? Does Nikolai have any sort of affection towards Kirill, or is it all part of his game? And will Nikolai look up Anna again when his stint is over


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a) I once was so convinced that I had a speech impediment that I went to see a professional speech therapist. I was puzzled, and a bit embarassed, to find myself able to pronounce every sound on her list with perfection. It seemed to me then that while I had a wide range of sounds at my disposal I wasn't using them in a way that seemed effective to me. It was all in my mind, as I searched for the most fluent way of speaking English, feeding myself with doubts as to the eloquence, wholesomeness and tenacity of my forays into the language... I'm very interested in how people use language, what combination of accents they use, and how this changes as they go throughout their day. No two utterances are ever the same...

b) You may have heard the statistic that 1 in 10 men are gay. (I think it's 1 in 20 women.) I read this when I was fascinated by matters of sexuality in high school, which was about 8 or so years ago. What interests me is that people are still citing this 'fact' but it is my belief that if a study was done today the percentages of people who identify as gay or same-sex attracted would have significantly increased. I don't think the number of people who are attracted to the same sex has increased, but, rather, the tolerance towards this kind of attraction, which leads to more people feeling comfortable with admitting that they are gay or bisexual, or even bi-curious. Let's not forget that the more discourse there is on a topic like homosexuality, the more response there is from the community, and the more prejudices are being broken down and minds are being opened. I'm sure that with Western culture's increasing acceptance and celebration of identites non-heterosexual, the number of people who can consciously admit to themselves that they are attracted to members of the same sex is on the increase


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I mentioned the 58 '08 campaign in my post on the Mardi Gras (click here to read) - the premise is very simple. The Gay & Lesbian Rights Lobby identified 58 laws which deny non-heterosexuals the same rights as their heterosexual counterparts. Whether it be in areas of superannuation, the rights to visit your partner in hospital when things go wrong or other mistreatments of the GLBTI community, these laws have never been acceptable and we have waited too long for change.

I must admit I didn't think that the campaign would attract as much attention as it needed to make a difference - I preferred not to get my hopes up, even as I signed the petition (click here to do so - it's not too late) and added my own personal message to the one already provided


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